The Wallflower

If ever I had had the desire to become a mail robber, this afternoon would have put that profession to sleep. It's about one o'clock when I decide to check the mailbox. Usually by this time, the mailman has come and gone.

I open the door, step onto the porch and open the mailbox. To my surprise, it is stuffed with mail. Usually we get a moderate ammount of mail, but this was a little excessive. I take the chunk of letters and bills, and one small package out of the wooden mail box, and reenter the house.

I set the pile on the dining room table and look at the first parcel, it was a letter or a card or something. I can't remember. I flip through to see if there's anything for me precisely, which there was. I letter from the school. I wasn't quite sure what it could be.

I happened to look at the mailing adress on one of the bills in the pile. To my shock, it wasn't addressed to my house, but to my friend's mother down the street. What? Oh great, this is such a hassle.

Now worried there would be more, I started flipping back through to see what else had been misplaced. I found more for the same person, then I found one for another person on our street...then another....and another...and yet another person. I couldn't believe it.

I felt like the post office itself, organizing and filing all sorts of mail. I set each pile for each person on the radiator by the table. In total: five other people's mail found it's way into our mailbox.

So I think to myself: these people have rather stalwart mail. You know, it's the common thought to think that it would be so mischevious and deceitful to rob somone's mail, but really it could be quite dull. I mean, unless you live on Sunset Boulevard, all your getting is some credit card bills, random brochures and possibly a greeting card. The greeting card may be pushing it.

I mean, who wants to go out of their way and risk getting caught to steal someone's mail that will in the end put you to sleep? So I guess it turns out that 'Mail Robber' can be crossed off the list of exciting illicit activities. Or unless you live in some swanky suburb like...Wysteria Lane, it might pan out for you.

But I guess it's a little fun to call my self the amateur mail-robber. Not gonna lie, I can get pretty sneaky when the time comes. Only joking. This all reminds me of a quote from one of my favorite books:

"Are you a robber?"

"Not professionally."

"Well, it's good to have a hobby"

-Starting Out in the Evening, Brian Morton

Hope your weekend goes swimmingly!

BTW: I watched Monk last night, may I say it was first rate! It's the last season, you should totally tune in. :)

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